


Five Ways John and Rodney Never Had Sex

by f0rcryin0utl0ud



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Kink, M/M, PWP without Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:49:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22352167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/f0rcryin0utl0ud/pseuds/f0rcryin0utl0ud
Summary: Rodney blames his actions on lack of sleep - at least he would, if he was even worried about them at the moment.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Kudos: 24





	Five Ways John and Rodney Never Had Sex

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old SGA story I never got around to posting here. It is unbeta'ed.

The mission briefing was the same as all their previous ones. The planet that Teyla was telling them about was inhabited by, according to the Athosians, friendly-happy to trade peoples who wouldn't try to kill them the moment they stepped through the gate. Of course, as Rodney pointed out many times throughout this and every previous briefing, Teyla said that about every planet they visited and most, at least to date, were filled with angry, spear (or weapon of choice) wielding natives intent on skewering them the moment the wormhole disengaged. 

Rodney rolls his eyes at Teyla's glare and Elizabeth's reprimand, trying to ignore Sheppard's amused smirk, and focuses on the laptop in front of him. Teyla continues describing the natives and their traditions while Rodney subtly opens a game of minesweeper to pass the time—he's always been good at multi-tasking. 

He's not sure when Teyla stopped talking, but Rodney looks up to see Elizabeth speaking quietly with her in the corner; Ronon cutting a chunk out of an apple with a knife he's pulled from his hair. Rodney turns and sees John looking at him, slowly rising from his seat and stalking towards him. He hits a key on the laptop, bringing up a file on power consumption before John reaches his side.

Elizabeth and Teyla have moved back to the table and Elizabeth is opening a new file folder—the next part of the briefing getting underway. This is where Rodney is supposed to tell her what the MALP has shown—why exactly this planet is worth checking out, besides the obvious chance for trade. He tears his eyes from John and begins tapping away at his laptop, bringing up the relevant information before taking in a breath to begin. 

The first words out of his mouth came out in a squeak when he feels a hand sliding along his thigh. He turns to glare at John who is decidedly not looking at him; instead he's sprawled in the chair beside him looking bored already. Rodney clears his throat, trying to ignore the way John's fingers are massaging his leg, trying to ignore the heat the contact is causing. Elizabeth, Teyla and Ronon are looking at him expectantly and he begins again, forcing his voice to remain steady.

Rodney manages a whole ten minutes of talking about a planet he doesn't want to gate to before he notices John is tapping a pen on the table beside him in an offbeat rhythm that coincides with the rhythmic squeezing on Rodney's leg. He huffs, annoyed, but continues, answering Elizabeth's questions in what he thinks is a patient tone, but which is apparently not if her narrowed eyes are anything to go by. He waves a hand in apology, continuing for another minute before snapping at John, "Will you please stop that!?"

Apparently he wasn't really paying attention to Rodney, because at Rodney's voice he jumps, dropping his pen which falls over the edge and under the table. He looks sheepishly at a smiling Elizabeth and Teyla and slides from his chair waving at Rodney to continue. Shaking his head, Rodney turns back to the others and begins to reiterate that the latest power signatures in the could indicate a fluctuation in the ZPM usage and that he should really stay behind in case something goes wrong. He stops, eyes going wide as he feels a finger skim the inside of his thigh, reaching for the zipper of his pants. Elizabeth looks at him expectantly and he swallows thickly, hand slipping under the table to bat away John's fingers. 

Knowing that John is just playing with him, Rodney clenches his hands into fists, stubbornly continuing his briefing. He's barely finished a full sentence before the fingers are back, quicker this time as they pop the button on his pants, the zipper pulling open with a flick of John's nimble fingers. Rodney's voice squeaks again and he can feel his face flush but he soldiers on, trying to ignore the hand now slipping into his boxers, gently pulling his cock free.

He's already hard by the time he feels the first puff of John's breath on the sensitive tip, his hands, knuckles white, gripping the arms of the chair as he keeps talking. He thinks he might be babbling at this point but none of the remaining people at the table seem to think anything is wrong because they are staring at him intently, seemingly riveted to what he's saying and not at all paying attention to the fact that John has just wrapped his lips around the head of Rodney's leaking cock.

His ability to multi-task is definitely being put to the test as he's still briefing Elizabeth, Teyla and Ronon on the reasons he shouldn’t go on this mission while trying to stop himself from thrusting into John's mouth and while thinking maybe he should have Elizabeth call Carson since this really isn't normal behavior for the head of the military here on Atlantis. And then John's tongue is dipping into the slit of his cock and Rodney's breathing faster, one hand darting out to bury itself in John's hair and his hips are bucking up and he knows he's about to come at any moment, all while Elizabeth, Teyla and Ronon are still watching him not even blinking at the fact that John's been under the table getting his pen for the last ten minutes.

With a startled 'fuck' Rodney is thrusting deeper into John's throat, coming in hot spurts that he swallows like a fucking pro. Rodney collapses onto the table, resting his head on folded arms, trying to get his breathing under control as John lets Rodney's cock slip from his mouth.

Then someone is shaking him and he's sitting up, staring into the amused faces of the Colonel, Elizabeth, Teyla and Ronon, "Nap time is over, McKay." Blinking Rodney reaches up, wiping the drool from the side of his mouth before scowling at the people in front of him; Elizabeth just grins and calls the meeting to an end. 

As they're walking out, Sheppard laughs and claps Rodney on the shoulder, "That must have been some dream."

Rodney glances at the Colonel from the corner of his eye before smirking, "You have no idea."  
____________________________

Rodney blames his actions on lack of sleep—at least he would, if he was even worried about them at the moment.

It was another in what had started to seem like an endless line of boring briefings about planets that had no technology and thus did not interest him in the least, when the Colonel smirked at him, making a flip comment about Rodney's boredom. He isn't sure he even remembers getting out of his chair before he's spinning John around, pressing him down onto the conference table, kicking his legs apart and yanking the always loose uniform pants down over slender hips and rounded ass. 

He hears John draw in a surprised breath, but Rodney doesn't wait, slipping a saliva coated finger inside, his own breath hitching at the heat and tightness of John's ass clenching around him. It isn't long before he has three fingers buried deep, stretching John wide, while the man pants; knuckles white where he's gripping the edge of the conference table.

Elizabeth, Teyla and Ronon are watching and though Rodney has never considered himself to be into public sex, the idea of them there seems to arouse him even more. He's opening his own pants with one hand, moaning as the pressure on his erection eases.  
Grabbing John's hips he slides in, in one long, slow thrust that has John's hips jerking, his body straining up off the table where Rodney has him bent over, ass in the air.

Rodney's hips begin a slow slide out before slamming back in and he starts talking, starts babbling a mix of techno-babble about the mission and a litany of the things he wants to do to John. In the back of his mind he thinks he would enjoy briefings much more if he could do this, do John, in the middle of it all.

John arches back with enough force so that they're standing, Rodney plastered to his back, buried in his ass, his hand wrapped around John's cock, pumping him frantically while he pistons his hips faster, harder, deeper with each thrust. John raises a hand, wrapping it around the back of Rodney's head, laying his own on Rodney's shoulder, exposing the long expanse of his neck and Rodney can see his pulse beating in the sweat coated skin, pressing his lips to that point just as John cries out his name and comes in hot spurts all over the conference room table.

Rodney's hips jerk up off the bed, thrusting into his own hand, eyes closed with images of Sheppard gasping out his name pushing him towards his own climax. When his breathing slows he grabs his discarded t-shirt, wiping off his hand and stomach before pulling his blankets up and over him, closing his eyes and letting the remaining images in his head pull him towards sleep.

_________________________________

They were working in a deserted section of the city, one that was made up of large, clear windows looking over the ocean surrounding them, where they could see the puddle jumpers flying back and forth to the mainland, giving the new recruits some flying time. Sheppard waved to Stackhouse through the window and Rodney shook his head muttering about the stupidity of flying so damn close to the city.

Setting about unloading his equipment to begin studying the consoles on the opposite side of the room, Rodney turned his back on Sheppard, ignoring the man as he began walking around the room to make sure there weren't any monsters hidden in the corners.

As of late, most things in Atlantis seemed to want only one specific gene carrier and Rodney called Sheppard over to activate the nearest console, rolling his eyes at Sheppard's knowing smirk—if he didn't love the city so much, Rodney would hate it and its disturbing crush on the man. Waving Sheppard away when the console lit up like a ten cent whore, he set about trying to figure out what exactly the room was used for.

Forty minutes later, frustrated and no closer to an answer, Rodney tossed his PDA to the floor, standing with a crack in his back and a disgusted noise of exasperation. "Need some help?" John was smirking—again—and Rodney had the sudden urge to push him up against the nearest surface and fuck the smirk right off his face.

John took a step closer with a raised eyebrow, "Maybe you just need a break." He reached into his vest and pulled out a power bar, offering it to Rodney.

Rodney was nodding as he moved closer, "You're right—that's exactly what I need." Instead of taking the offered food, he grabbed John's jacket, pushing it over his shoulders and down his arms, quick hands opening John's pants and pulling at the thigh strap around John's leg. It was only a matter of minutes before Rodney had him completely naked and turned him towards the window with a push of his hand.

John didn't speak, letting Rodney push and pull until he was facing the window, palms pressed flat against the cool surface, legs spread wide; cock standing hard and erect. Rodney reached for the sunscreen he always carried with him and he opened his own pants, freeing his cock and coating it before shoving two slick fingers deep into John's ass. 

He didn't spend long preparing John, pulling his fingers free and grabbing John's hips to line up his cock before plunging in, in one hard, fast thrust that almost lifted John from the floor. Reaching around he wrapped his slicked hand around John's cock, stroking him in time with the movement of his hips, watching the window as John's breath obscured the view with each panted moan of pleasure.

Rodney grinned at each puddle jumper flying by; knowing the pilot and co-pilot would have a clear view of John's naked body, of Rodney's large hand jerking off their CO in plain sight. They were flying close enough that they would be able to see Rodney's thrusts rocking John's body forward, his pre-come leaving slick trails across the glass.

Releasing John's leaking cock, Rodney tightened his grip on John's hips tilting him to change the angle, grinning when he hit the spot that had John swearing as he pushed back for more, trying to force Rodney deeper. Rodney sped up, hitting John's prostate with each penetration until he could feel the tightening of John's ass, knowing he was close. 

Sliding a hand up and across John's chest, Rodney pulled him back against his own, wrapping his hand around John again, his teeth biting John's shoulder making him jerk, once, twice before coming all over the window, palms leaving steaks of sweat as John collapsed, forehead to the cool glass.

Rodney jerked at the voice behind him, turning to find Sheppard grinning, "Day-dreaming again, McKay?"

Rolling his eyes, Rodney turned back to the console, "I'm much to busy to day-dream, Colonel. Make yourself useful and hand me a power bar—I'm starving." 

__________________________

The crack of stick hitting stick draws Rodney closer to the room. Inside he sees Sheppard circling Teyla, one stick held firmly while the other looks like it could drop out of his hand at any second. Teyla looks as calm as always and Sheppard looks amused, but Rodney can see the wariness, the concentration in his eyes, even as he quirks an eyebrow at Teyla before weaving a little back and forth as if he were attempting to entice Teyla into dancing with him.

Rodney stays hidden from plain sight, watching them moving gracefully around the gym, sticks striking out with a flick of a wrist. Sheppard and Teyla have both tried to convince Rodney he should be learning to do this—Rodney still doesn't see the point of it if he's going to be carrying a gun; he can just shoot his attacker.

In a move that reminds Rodney of something that should have been in The Matrix, Teyla has him on his knees, stick across his throat, smiling indulgently down at a gasping Sheppard. Their session comes to an end, foreheads touching and Teyla saying goodbye as she disappears through the door on the opposite side of the room, while Sheppard wraps a towel over his shoulders, twirling his sticks as he walks towards his bag.

Rodney surprises himself when he steps out of the shadows, grabbing a set of sticks as he walks to the center of the room. He balances one in his palm, getting the feel for it, twirling it a little while waiting for John to notice him. It only takes a moment before John turns, eyebrows raised as he takes in the sticks in Rodney's hands. He doesn't say anything though, just tosses the towel onto the bench and steps closer.

He begins circling Rodney and for a moment Rodney feels a shiver run through him at the intense look in John's eye—suddenly he feels like he's being hunted. He thinks maybe he should be more disturbed and a lot less turned on by that than he is. Then John's arm is lashing out and Rodney just barely blocks the attack, stumbling back a few steps, his heart beginning to pound.

Contrary to popular belief, Rodney was actually pretty good at sports while growing up, but he simply chose to spend more of his energy on his studies. He'd always been a quick study, no matter the subject and it only takes a few more near misses from John's sticks before Rodney is catching on. He's nowhere near as experienced as John in fighting, nowhere near as proficient and he knows that, but the mere fact that he's keeping up, not to mention that John has just finished a sparring session with Teyla, seems enough to throw John off his game allowing Rodney to get in a few near misses of his own. 

Soon John is grinning, weaving back and forth like he was with Teyla, eyes sparkling as he watches Rodney's face. Rodney's gaze falls to John's mouth and he unconsciously licks his lips, eyes darting back to John's when he hears a sharp intake of breath. John swallows and Rodney' stomach flutters, his mind already working out a hypothesis. He swings wide, watching John move to block it before sweeping John's feet from under him and straddling his body, pining him to the mat with his sticks at John's throat.

Rodney looks into John's startled and quickly darkening eyes as he settles his weight on John, grinding against him and grinning at the whimper the friction creates. He tosses aside his sticks, pulling John's from unresisting hands and doing the same with them. His fingers are nimble as they begin unfastening John's belt, begin sliding under John's tight black t-shirt to skim across sweat slicked skin. It feels like his nerves are on fire the more skin he touches and soon he's shuffling down John's legs, pulling pants and boxers with him until he has John naked and hard lying on the gym floor.

Rodney thinks the gym doors locked as he stands and removes his own clothes, watching John lick his lips, watching his eyes traveling the length of Rodney's body, watching John's hand stroking down his own stomach. He walks to the bench, grabbing the oil that Teyla uses on the sticks and moves back to John, kneeling between his legs. 

John moves so that his feet are flat on the floor, legs spread wide for Rodney as he slips two oil slicked fingers inside. Rodney watches as John bucks up off the mat before he bears down onto Rodney's fingers, gasping as he reaches for his own cock. Pushing John's hands away, Rodney lowers his head, sucking the tip of John's cock into his mouth while he pushes a third finger into John's ass, scissoring them before curling them to ghost over John's prostate.

John gives a strangled moan, his fists clenching at his sides as he thrusts deeper into Rodney's mouth. Pulling off slowly, with a light scrape of teeth, Rodney sits back on his haunches, breathing hard. "Turn over." John scrambles to comply quickly and Rodney maneuvers him to his hands and knees; pressing his lips to the small of John's back letting his tongue slip out to trail down to tease between John's ass cheeks. When John quivers at the contact Rodney straightens, grabbing his cock to line it up, pressing forward with a small thrust until just the head has breached John's ass.

Rodney bites his bottom lip when John shoves back, impaling himself on Rodney's cock, rocking back and forth on his hands and knees, ignoring Rodney's hands trying to steady him, trying to slow him down. Eventually Rodney gives up, letting John have control, gasping when John pushes back until he is sitting in Rodney's lap, using his thigh muscles as he moves up and down the length of Rodney's cock, one arm extended behind him, pulling Rodney closer.

Pressing his forehead to the back of John's neck, hands gripping John's hips, Rodney listens to the slide of skin as John fists his own cock, listens to the panting and muttering from John as he urges Rodney on, strains his own thigh muscles as he thrusts up to meet John when he slams back down. Then John is grabbing Rodney's wrist, pulling his hand up to wrap it around his cock, aligning their hands so they're stroking John together. Seconds pass and then Rodney feels thick, warm come coating his and John's hands easing the friction until John's slowly softening cock is gliding through their entwined fingers.

Rodney jumps at the clatter of sticks on the gym floor, focusing on Sheppard as he bends to retrieve them, stuffing them into his bag before throwing it over his shoulder. Sheppard turns and grins when he sees Rodney, "Hey, McKay—come to do a little sparring?"

Rodney snorts, folding his arms over his chest as Sheppard falls in step with him when he turns from the room. "I think I'll leave that to you, Colonel."

___________________________________

Rodney's leg was starting to cramp as they sat on the plush pillows the natives deemed better than actual chairs, while Teyla did her 'we come in peace, let's trade' speech once again, this time for the elders. She was very good at it and they usually ended up with enough food to last until the next trading mission. Which Rodney was immensely grateful for, but he would give his last chocolate bar if someone would show these people the wonders of a nice hard backed chair.

Twisting again, trying to un-cramp sore back muscles Rodney looked over to see Sheppard watching him with an amused smirk tugging at his lips. The man was perfectly content to be twisted into a pretzel while they waited for the natives to say 'it's a deal' or their equivalent—Rodney wanted to strangle him. 

He was terribly unsurprised when things went downhill fast. Teyla turned to them; a frown on her face as she explained that two of them would be required to take part in a ritual before the completion of the trade could be reached. Rodney rolled his eyes, what was with these people and their damned rituals? Honestly, if he had to let some jailbait hottie wash his feet again he was going to need to increase his therapy sessions with Heightmeyer.

The elder pointed first at John and then at Rodney and Rodney's first thought was ‘at least I won't have to endure this alone’. The next thing he knew Teyla was whispering fiercely and passionately and Rodney's stomach was sinking with each shake of her head. He turned to John to find his gaze glued to the elder's face, a steely look in his eyes.

When the elders rose as one and left the negotiation pillows, Teyla turned to John with an apology. They weren't getting out of the ritual if they wanted to trade and the ritual was something Rodney had only ever thought of in terms of SGC reports, not something he ever expected to run into in the Pegasus Galaxy.

John turned to him, eyebrow raised and…Rodney gulped.

They were led to a large circular altar in an open field; it had a canopy above it with draperies hanging on the left side. The center was raised and it was covered and padded with a soft, plush white material. Apparently this ritual was to take place outside. The elders gave them directions handing them jars of sweet smelling oil and clapping their hands as they stepped off the altar.

Rodney turned to watch as dozens of villagers emerged from the tall grass, congregating around the exposed sides of the altar. Turning back to John he watched, heart beginning to pound as he began to strip out of his clothes, not paying even the slightest attention to their audience. 

When he took a step towards Rodney, Rodney took one back. John grinned, reaching out and snagging the front of Rodney's shirt and pulling him closer, leaning in to whisper 'relax' in his ear causing a shiver to run down his spine as John's breath ghosted over his skin. 

"That's easy for you to say."

John's hands slipped under the hem of Rodney's shirt, pushing it up and over his head and he leaned down, tracing Rodney's nipple with his tongue, throwing the shirt on the floor and reaching for Rodney's belt. Rodney's own hands skimmed already naked flesh, gasping when John's knuckles graze sensitive skin as he unbuttoned Rodney's pants. 

When they are completely naked John stepped back, hand around Rodney's wrist, and pulled him towards the center of the altar until they are both lying on the plush surface. John covered Rodney with his own body, licking gently into Rodney's mouth as he grinded down lazily in counterpoint to Rodney's frantic thrusts up.

He's forgotten the people surrounding them, or has at least managed to not care about their presence anymore. John's fingers reached blindly for the bowl of oil the natives placed beside the altar and return to slip between Rodney's legs, circling slowly before sliding inside. Rodney gasped, his mouth opening under John's, his hands sliding into John's hair, pulling him closer while he opened his legs wider.

John's hand is reaching again, coming back slick and he wraps his fingers around his own cock, pulling back to look into Rodney's eyes, "Ready?"

Nodding, Rodney braced himself when he felt the head of John's cock pressing inside him, breathing unsteadily as John wrapped his hand around Rodney's cock, whispering quietly against Rodney's mouth. His legs are wrapped around John and he feels like a pretzel, knows he'll pay for it later, but none of that matters when John slides into him with an excruciatingly slow thrust that buries him deep inside Rodney.

John braces his hands on either side of Rodney, his hips picking up speed, his thrusting becoming more urgent the closer he gets and Rodney simply hangs on, devouring the look of bliss on John's face, the feel of John moving inside him, the way John shivers whenever Rodney touches him. He memorizes it all as John stills with Rodney's name on his lips, filling him with an encompassing heat that surrounds him and pushes him over the edge as he arches back, coming over his own stomach without a touch, John's name escaping his opened mouth. 

John collapses on top of him and Rodney's legs fall to the side, his hips aching and he wraps his arms around John, not quiet ready to go back to being McKay and Sheppard just yet. 

Closing his eyes, he breathes deeply. When he opens them, Sheppard is grinning across from him, Teyla bowing to the elder's having successfully reached a trade agreement that is sure to bring Atlantis an abundance of much needed supplies. 

Sheppard claps Rodney on the shoulder as they rise, "That wasn't so bad."

Rodney groans, bones popping as he stands, "That's easy for you to say."


End file.
